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ANTIDOTES TO TOXIC BEHAVIOR: CONTINUITY OF ACTION

Well-being and growth are a function of the interaction between self and environment. We must constantly take in various kinds of nourishment and expel (or repel) what we find poisonous. Effective functioning is based on our continuous responses to our needs —including our need to withdraw.

While awareness is a prerequisite for change, it remains an incomplete experience when effective responsiveness is lacking. Initiating action in response to the awareness of our needs is an ongoing process. Functioning is action. When a person allows himself to become immobilized, he becomes increasingly nonfunctional. Consequently, when we feel stuck in a toxic relationship or situation, it is still our responsibility to initiate whatever action we can to get unstuck ... if in fact that is what we wish. Deciding that a difficulty is insurmountable guarantees a poisonous impasse. When functioning is frozen, frustration inevitably mounts, and emotionally (if not physically) the person begins—however slowly—to die.

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